"Light in the Dark"

I awaken this morning to the sound of nothing. No sound. No movement in the air, nothing. Its almost peaceful, but it never will be. I’m cursed to never rest. The worst of my life is always at night, when the beast comes out to howl at the only lady who has always been present in my life. Usually my depressing posts or whatever you call them come at night. For the first time in a while, I woke up sad. I dont even have dreams anymore…most people take their dreams for granted….If you only knew what i’d do to have nightmares even…to even know you have slept…

Most people are cursed with finding somebody to love. My curse is that I’m in love with every woman i meet. and i mean every word i say, ever time. No im not being egotistical or trying to act like i’m a badass. Im not. Very very very few truly know how it feels to talk to someone and feel like your heart is going to explode….few will know how it feels to want to die for that person…and if you’re in love with everybody, then how do you know who is the one? I’m so very very tired…I’d almost die for sleep. 

truth is i have no one in this world. My two “bros” who supposedly had my back have turned their backs on me. One for a girl. The other for a guy. Some people dont even realize how lucky they are to have friends…to have people they can turn to for help….me, i have no one. No one to turn to because no one gives a damn about me or my problems. Why do you think i only have one damned follower…oh fuck it youll never read this…im just gonna delete my tumblr. or forget about it…

to the angel who im supposed to be with in this world: good luck finding me.